[Life.Life? Life...]

How long does a presence last..?
- A few seconds…?
- One second?
- A moment…?
- How long..?

What do you call your LIFE?
- Your love?
- Your family?
- Your job?
- Food..?
- God..?
- What? Or Who…?

What makes you happy?
- Stranger’s smile?
- ‘ Hello’ from someone you thought has forgotten about you..?
- A hug?...
- Something else..?

How do you feel when you know the future..?
- Scared?
- Happy?
- Calm?
- Worried..?

What do you do when you can’t do anything..?
- Hide?
- Carry on trying to help even if you know that you can’t really help, no matter what you do..
- You just ignore the whole thing and say: ‘oh well, I can’t do anything about it’ and walk away..?

It’s Life.. Sometimes I wish I didn’t know some things or I didn’t feel in a certain way. Or I wasn’t the way I am.. Or I didn’t care.. Or that I never wanted to help others. Or I didn’t blame myself for not managing to ‘fix’ people. Especially, the loved ones.. Sometimes I can’t help and I can’t calm down until I get the feeling that ‘this is it. I’ve done my job. The rest is up to God to do.’ And sometimes, I just can’t let go if I don’t get that feeling and the person doesn’t want my help.. I can’t turn around and walk away. But sometimes I have to. And it hurts. And I never forget that (s)he pushed me away when I tried to help.
Every morning I draw my face in the mirror and promise to do something good. And every night I ask God whether I’ve done anything good or not. And on some days I know I have, and on the other days.. I know I haven’t. And this is Life.. People come and go.. You visit different places.. You find Home.. You find your Time.. Your Person.. Your Love.. And your LIFE.. Finally, you become a Person you always wanted to be. And you behave in a way that you think is the best.

Tomorrow is a new day. And I won’t give up trying to ‘fix’ my parents.. At least.. now they know how much they mean to me and they know I want to help. I’d give so much to hug them both and tell them that everything’s going to be ok. I want them to be strong for a little bit longer.. Maybe I’ll manage to ‘fix’ them in July? But I need them to want my help..
I pray that I’m not too late.. And hope that God changes the future..

Goodnight.

[Ieva--Sugalvok Man]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qI8N--c_fus&feature=related